I am so tired of the polite lie. The encouragement because it's what people think I want to hear, instead of the truth which may sting, but is what I need to hear. If the dress make me look fat, tell me. I'd rather I'm told than I go out and think I look nice when in fact I look like a barge and people view me with disgust.
I applied for a job transfer at McCrometer. Since I changed my degree to Marketing, I started looking around at my options. Working in Accounting, doing Accounts Receivable and Credit and Collections as I have for two and a half years isn't exactly in line with a Marketing degree. When I changed my major, I had a meeting with Human Resources to plan a career path for myself. The two paths open to me are Customer Service, and Marketing. Steve, the HR manager, assured me that he'd let me know when someone opened in either department. I depended on him, as the HR manager and someone assisting me with my career development, to stay true to his word.
For the second time in two years, he failed me.
Shortly after that meeting, a customer service position opened. I wasn't qualified because I wasn't bilingual. I could accept that.
In February, another customer service position opened. I applied for it since being bilingual wasn't required. I interviewed well. I have many skills that are necessary for customer service. Hell, customer service IS my job. I spend most of my time clearing up their errors. I have a unique perspective to bring to that department that no one else who applied for the position have: I understand the importance of ensuring orders are taken accurately while protecting the interests of the company, and the importance of ensuring that we have accurate customer information.
The customer service supervisor scheduled a second meeting with me to let me know her decision. Then she postponed it by a day. Come to find out, Human Resources had asked her to delay making her decision so she could consider further. With that additional time, they presented her with an candidate to interview from outside the company. This candidate had all the qualities that I had, and which had made me her top choice. There was only one difference: the other candidate had experience working in manufacturing. My only experience was the AR/Credit and Collections side of it. While she and I both put a positive spin on her decision - I do like Pam, I respect her, and I do understand that in her position she needed someone who could also start more quickly than I probably could have, since I'd have to train a replacement for myself first - I still felt betrayed by Human Resources. I had thought they were supposed to be helping me develop along the career path I had chosen. Why had they deliberately sabotaged me? If the only difference between me and the other candidate was manufacturing experience...please. They'd still have to go through the full product training that I'd have to do. There wouldn't have been that much difference.
Two years ago, I had applied for another position in the company - in Human Resources, as well. At the time I was turn down for that position, I was told by Steve that he would assist me in developing my skills in that area, he would involve me in planning committees for various events. It was only words, and no follow through. I've never been included in any of those committees.
Now apparently Steve's assurances that he would assist me in my career path are also proven to be words and lies, not actions and truth.
I like working at McCrometer. I've been there two and a half years, which is a record for me. It's still one of the better places I've worked. I like my manager. I never wake up dreading the thought of going to work - and usually after a year there are some mornings where I feel that way. I respect and like Kerry, the CEO. He has a management style that I think should be emulated by more people.
I don't particularly care for my VP, since his management styles seems to be completely at odds with the other VPs and he insists on maintaining a distance from the department that definitely makes me feel that I'm nothing more than a name on a spreadsheet to him. I doubt he actually knows my name on the rare occasions he sees me walking down a hall. I definitely know that he puts no store in my recommendations and suggestions when it comes to my job.
It's frustrating to want to grow, learn, do more and find that the door is being constantly closed in my face. There's no room for growth in my current position, and that means no room for significantly increased pay. The one opportunity for growth in my department was slammed resoundingly shut before I really knew it was there. The next logical step from my position was Accountant when Michelle moved to another position. They decided immediately to hire from outside the company. The woman they hired has a bachelors, yes - but not in accounting. And she annoys the hell out of me. She seems to think she's in charge of the rest of us, and that's just not the case.
As much as I like the company, between my manager and Human Resources, I've gotten the hint. There's no future for me unless I want to keep doing what I'm now doing for the rest of my life. Well, I don't want to. The pay is shit. I've done the research. It is not nearly what it should be for this area, for my experience, and with my education. Compensating for the pay is the people and company - I like them both (mostly). I consider many of my coworkers aquaintance-friends.
However, I can't live like this indefinitely. I've decided that I'm definitely NOT taking advantage of the tuition reimbursement package the company offers. If I did, I would be obligated to stay for two years after I get my degree. Personally I feel that's unreasonable since McCrometer didn't provide tuition reimbursement for the first half of my education. Regardless, as the company has made clear, there's no future for me there so I'll not obligate myself to stay beyond the point getting my degree. I have to think of myself, my needs, my wants, and my family. I came to California because it was the best choice I had that would let me stay in school. Once that goal is accomplished....::shrug:: I'll miss McCrometer, and I'm sure I'll never find a company like it again. However, it's been a year and a half since I've seen my family. My mother isn't in the best health. My neices and nephews don't remember what I look like. I miss my dad. I need to go home, or a job that lets me visit more often. California and McCrometer aren't going to give me that.
I hate it, too. I really do like working for this company, but I no longer have any faith that I've found the place where I can work and stay. For all the claims that the company cares about associates and prefers to promote from within, I've found the truth in the actions. The actions clearly state that they'd prefer to hire from without rather than give their associates the opportunities to grow. And hell - if they can hire an accountant for $50-$70K a year, why the hell can't they pay me a wage that's fair? Yeah, I'm sure about that pay rate, too. If the company didn't want us to know, they shouldn't have advertised the job outside the company. We found it when we started wondering why there wasn't an internal posting.
It's been a week or two since I was turned down for the customer service position. It's been festering. I needed to vent. Maybe it'll stop festering now, though I doubt it. It still feels too much like a betrayal. It definitely confirms that I can't trust Steve.
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