Holidays

In 32 short years, I've tried to approach the holidays several different ways. Spend them with friends. Spend them with strangers. Spend them alone. Ignore them altogether. Go home and spend the with family. When you're single and you live someplace where you don't have family, the holidays are difficult and depressing and it takes conscious, constant effort to not be depressed.

The ideal way to spend the holidays, I think most people would agree, is with family. Unfortunately it's not always possible. For me, this year, it's not possible. They're half a continent away and I just can't afford to go and they can't afford to bring me. So it'll be another holiday season alone - but this year, I'm going to honestly try to enjoy it and celebrate it in the spirit intended.

In the past, when I've spent the holiday alone and didn't ignore it, I was pretty depressed. I kept thinking of where I'd rather be and that put a damper on everything. The holidays should not be a depressing time!

The years that I ignored the holidays, at the time, was all right. It was still depressing because you can only ignore it so much. But - the year just didn't seem complete, or right. I didn't feel right. I have a friend who doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving in a traditional way, and pretty much ignores Christmas. I can understand why she does, and the logic behind her reasoning is sound. It works for her. But it's not right for me. I want my holidays.

Thanksgiving is a family tradition. There are certain recipes prepared for that meal that aren't made at any other time. It's a family event, a day that in my memories was always a guaranteed time that everyone would be together, and happy, and there would be good food and good times. For me, this year, I'm going to celebrate Thanksgiving, alone, but in my family tradition. I'm going to bake a turkey, and sweet potato casserole with marshmallows, green bean casserole, dressing and rolls. I'm going to have pecan pie. And while it may feed me for a week, that's okay. :-) Leftovers are a Thanksgiving tradition. I'll skip the ham, though - there's no way I can manage to fit it in, so I'll save a little of the tradition for the together-with-family times.

Christmas will be more difficult to enjoy alone, but I'm going to try. I've bought presents this year. I know my family won't mind that I couldn't spend much money on them, and I started early. Each gift, however, was acquired with a lot of thought regarding the recipient and what would most suit them, what would make them smile, and what they would appreciate most. Well, except for Brookelyn. She's still too young to really care. :-) One Christmas tradition that I remember from my childhood are the Christmas lights. We wouldn't decorate ourselves, but when I was a kid my parents would pack us up in the car one night during the season and we'd drive around, looking at the Christmas lights others would put up. I always loved looking at them, so this year I'll do the Christmas lights tour myself. Maybe I'll ask a friend if she and her kids want to come with me.

I'll even wait until Christmas evening to open my gifts. Traditionally they'd be opened first thing in the morning, but I was rereading The Dark Is Rising last week and noticed that other than opening one gift in the morning, they waited until the evening to open the presents - kinda extending the anticipation and enjoyment of the day. So I'll try that this year, and have my family on the phone while I do it so I can share it with them.

Not celebrating Christmas has always bothered my mom. It made her sad, because Christmas is a very important holiday for her and it hurts her to know that I'm missing it. She's sending me a little tree this year and I've promised to put it up. She's also sending me a nativity. Maybe I'll do midnight mass this year. I haven't been to church in a while, but I know where a Catholic church is here, and I've always loved midnight mass. Maybe I'll make her really happy and try going to church on a regular basis, too. :-)

I love Christmas music. I love the decorated trees, the ornaments, and the very feel of the season. Not that it feels the same in California, what with the 'season' being t-shirt weather warm, but hey - nothing is perfect. :-)

One thing I don't love about Christmas: the stores are selling it before Halloween is over. That's just wrong. Each holiday has it's time and place and by shoving Christmas at us for a quarter of the year it cheapens and lessens the holiday. Other than buying gifts, I refuse to do anything at all Christmasy until after Thanksgiving. I refuse to think about Thanksgiving until after Halloween.

So here's to celebrating the holidays in a happy, cheerful, and positive mood!


Anna